Meant to Be
by briel's Angel
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay can't deny a love that has been brewing for so many years
1. Chapter 1

Three months after returning to earth Voyager's crew had gather once more to attend the nuptials of Chakotay and Seven. Kathryn had dreaded this moment the minute her older version had told her that Chakotay and Seven were married in her timeline. At least, she smiled without mirth, this time she would not have to perform the ceremony herself. How her older self had been able to do it, Kathryn did not know. She ached at the thought of her older self having to preside over the marriage of Seven, who she had taken under her wing, and Chakotay the man she love with all her heart. And yet here she stood minutes away from having to witness the two profess their love to each other in front of their crew.

The universe really did have a sick, twisted sense of humor she mused. To think that they had been just weeks away from reaching earth, of her being free from the constraints she had imposed upon herself. Weeks before she was finally able to express the true depth of her feelings for Chakotay. Tell him that she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She had been willing to leave Starfleet to have an opportunity to enjoy her relationship with Chakotay. She was not young anymore and she wanted to start a family with Chakotay immediately. Together they would build a home full of love, joy and as many babies as they were blessed with.

Instead she had been standing alone when they blasted into the Alpha Quadrant, Chakotay by Seven's side. She'd had to order him to the helm before he left her side. Alone when she disembarked, Tuvok having been whisked away immediately to get help for his disease, and Chakotay so worried about Seven and her reaction, to no longer being in the protective confines of Voyager, that he had requested permission to disembark with her. Alone at the debriefing, she had somehow assumed that it would be Chakotay and her fighting for their crew side by side. Instead it had been her having to give detailed reports on the Maquis, Equinox, and Tom Paris. Her Starfleet crew had been allowed to go home almost immediately after their medical check ups. They were all told to stay on Earth until they were formally released from duty but had been allowed to leave the confines of Starfleet.

She told herself it was for the best, that she needed to start getting use to being without him. She needed to get used to no longer having late night dinners, philosophical, and spiritual discussions to talk and laugh about while he had his tea and she drank her coffee. She would never feel his warm gaze taking her in from across the room, his warm touch holding her back from dangerous situations and his soft voice telling her to reconsider a wrong position. She would miss the way his eyes would darken when she would touch his chest, the smile he reserved only for her and most of the all the feeling of being loved by someone so incredibly wonderful. The wonderful undercurrent that was always felt when the two were in the same room. No longer would the crew make silly bets on whether their commanding officers were actually involved.

She would never know what it felt like to be held by him in the dark of night feeling his warm breath beneath her cheek as she laid across his warm, smooth chest. She would never have little boys with dark, warm brown eyes and soft golden skin that she would love as much as their daddy. Those little boys were now going to belong to him and Seven and those little boys, with the beautiful brown eyes, would never be hers. She felt the tears that she had been keeping at bay for days fill her eyes to the brink but she viciously fought them down.

Kathryn looked at herself in the mirror and smooth down her dark blue chiffon dress, made sure her hair was still in place, and fixed her make-up, which she had applied twice now, and made sure it hide the tell-tale signs that she had been crying. She tried to control her emotions, which had been extremely volatile since finding out about Chakotay and Seven's nuptials. She didn't know how she would handle the next few hours and it scared her. The thought that she would be asked to give a speech about why Chakotay and Seven were meant to be, when her heart was screaming for her to tell Chakotay he was making a mistake. That the women he was suppose to marry was her not Seven. That they were meant to be together forever no matter how cliché it sounded. She wanted to tell him that the life he was planning to live with Seven was suppose to be hers. He was suppose be hers and love her, only her.

All her life she had made sacrifices, pushing her happiness to the back, putting duty first and now would be no different she thought with despair. She would face her crew with a smile on her face, compliment the happy couple and wish them happiness. No one would ever be the wiser, when she left the reception after a respectable time of mingling with her crew, just how heartbroken she was. Thoughts of running away swirled around her head. She would go somewhere she would never have to run into them and the babies they had, watching them gaze at each other. She suddenly slapped the counter sharply, shaking her head trying to rid her head of what she had lost. She needed to lock away her feeling for the next few hours or she would never even make it out of her hotel room.

Kathryn looked at herself once more in the mirror before she left the sanctity of her hotel room.

It was time to lock the dreams that had kept her warm, alive and sane for the last seven years in a chest and locked forever. No one would ever know of the dreams that she kept locked up under a tight rein of her emotions. In her mind she pictured a chest and one by one she threw all of her dreams, hopes and desires into it: Chakotay, sweet little babies that looked so much liked their handsome daddy, a home filled with love, happiness and understanding. None of that was in the cards for Kathryn Janeway so she did as always to survive the pain consuming her. She shut the lid on her treasure chest and locked it up. Heading towards the door she saw her image in the mirror, saddened when she saw a sad, lonely women looking back at her. If she was going to keep up the facade she would have to do better. She took another deep breath and schooled her features.

Once satisfied that she would be a able to make it through the night without giving anything away she grab her green clutch and headed towards the door. She flung the door open only to run into a solid mass of black and white who wrapped her in strong, gentle hands that felt so wonderfully familiar. She was unable to stop herself when she nuzzled her face into his chest, breathing him in. She knew this was inappropriate, so she gathered all her strength and tried to pull away from him but he refused to let her go. She knew that she couldn't allow herself this kind of freedom with another women's future husband, she looked into his eyes begging him to stop. He looked back at her begging her to let him in. She tried to say no but the only word that she was able to choke out was the one solitary word that conveyed all of the hurt and longing KathrynJaneway had been trying to hide.

"Chakotay"


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay paced around his hotel room wondering just exactly how he had gotten into this mess. He knew why it had started. It was his stupid attempt at trying to get something he had always had. After he and Seven had gotten to know each a little better after they crashed landed on that planet a friendship started up between them. He had started caring for her as he would any other member of Kathryn's and his crew. And then she had asked him out. He had thought it was sweet, a young women expressing her interested in pursuing a love interest, but he had said no. He thought, since they were going to be in the Delta Quadrant for another 30 to 60 years, he should take some time to teach her how to interact and protect herself from the opposite sex. He would mentor her as he had seen Kathryn do from day one.

A grim smile crossed his face as he thought about how quickly it had all gone to hell. First the Admiral had shown up with a wild, dangerous theory on how Voyager could make it back to the Alpha Quadrant, leaving him and Kathryn no time to talk about personal issues. Secondly the damn rumor mill had gotten wind that he and Seven were spending time together. Thirdly, Seven's school girl crush on him had been on display for all to see making it impossible to deny that she was interested in more than being friends. Finally, the dramatic entrance into the Alpha Quadrant had made it impossible for him to approach Kathryn.

From the moment they landed Kathryn had been pulled from one side to the other. Putting out fires, protecting her crew, while he spent his days milling around with the rest of the crew until they got their orders or were told what their future entailed. Seven always so self assured practically begged him to stay by her side the moment they burst into the Alpha Quadrant.

He started pacing at the thought of what a fool he had been. All had needed to do was find Kathryn and tell her that he loved her. Instead he had run into one crewmen after another telling him how incredibly selfish, insensitive, uncaring and foolish he was being. He had been angry but still thought if he just talked to Kathryn it would be fine. He had gone to her right after the ship landed. Immediately, he had started to tell her how Seven needed him at that moment but as soon as he made her feel safe he needed to talk to her. She had put an end to their discussion immediately telling him she was busy and didn't have time to discuss the issue with him. She had basically ushered him away and wished him all the happiness in the world with Seven. At that moment Chakotay's last drop of patient evaporated. The crew he could see believing him capable of moving on but Kathryn, how could she not know. He had stood so stiff when she dismissed him that he thought he might have pulled something. The "yes Ma'am" he had choked out was barely above a whisper and he left her ready room feeling despondent at the realization that he and Kathryn would never be together.

Chakotay had, and would tolerate anyone else thinking so little of him. The realization that Kathryn the women he loved, respected, honored and cherished above all others thought he was so easily taken by another women had made his blood boil. He had not given it a second the thought when Seven had asked him to disembark with her. Somehow it had snowballed from the there. Seven and he had attended the parties, dinners, meetings and debriefings together. Never had they acted like a romantic couple, The fact that they were always seen together and the rumors going around was enough to convict him.

When Seven had suggested marriage, Chakotay had choked on his drink, coughing until he had tears running down his eyes. He looked up at her thinking it was a joke since they hadn't done anything even remotely romantic. But he understood her fear, she had come to depend on him and she was scared to be alone.

His jealously helped him make the final decision. When he saw all those admirals around Kathryn and the way she smiled drove him to make one of the stupidest decisions he had ever made. Marry Seven.

Even now in his tuxedo he couldn't believe what he had been about to do. He had just come from Seven's hotel room and told her that what they had was a platonic relationship. That what they had was not enough to build a marriage and he finally admitted that the only women he loved was Kathryn. And though she had been scared and had admitted she was surprised. She had asked if Kathryn felt the same way. Chakotay had answered honestly and said he didn't know but he couldn't go on if he didn't find out. She admitted she was scared but since her aunt Eileen was with her she had said she understood. Chakotay assumed that now that she had someone else looking after her she no longer needed to latch on to him permanently. There had been no tears, angry words or calming platitudes, only a gentle kiss to her cheek as he left her room.

Now he paced worried that maybe Kathryn wouldn't take him back. She was so disappointed in him, if the looks she had been giving him was any indication. He had to talk to her and tell what she meant to him and let her know that nothing, not even a kiss, had happened between he and Seven.

He was determined never to be separated from Kathryn again. He didn't care what he had to do, though he assumed groveling was going to be a big part of his effort to get her back, he was not leaving San Francisco without her. Today he was going to tell her what he had known from the moment he saw her. She was his and he was hers, forever.

He took one last fortifying breath and left the safe haven of his hotel room. He took the stairs not wanting to run into anyone. It was really ironic that she was actually one floor directly on top of his hotel room. He looked around nervously running a hand through his dark hair. He had just gathered the courage to knock when a tiny whirl of green plowed into his chest.

Kathryn, in her desperation to get the first encounter with the bride and groom over, had run into him like Hades himself was after her. When she bumped into him Chakotay was again amazed at how slight Kathryn was when she wasn't cloaked in her Captains persona. She would have bounced off him, landing on her rear, if he hadn't reacted quickly and wrapped his arms around her waist. Her pulled her closer to him then was necessary and didn't let her go when she had regained her equilibrium.

Chakotay's heaven and hell was standing between his arms looking like a goddess in green. His hell because he was suppose to have been getting married in the next few hours. He was suppose to be in love with Seven and be excited about the prospect of a new life with her. But all he could think of, when he thought about marrying Seven, was of a little girl with red, long hair and big, bright, smiling, blue eyes that would have him wrapped around his finger the moment she was born just like her beautiful mother. And his heaven because the beauty in his arms still brought him a peace that he never felt with anyone else.

When he thought of the what he was gaining by marrying Seven he couldn't balance it out with what he was losing. He looked down at her and found her surprise at being in his arms. She looked so beautiful and vulnerable at that moment that he knew he would not be able to move from this spot without doing what he had always desired. Slowly, his eyes never leaving her lips, he bent his head towards her lips. He expected her to move or at least push him away, instead he saw the desire he was feeling mirrored in her eyes. All he had ever wanted and desired was staring him straight in face and in that moment his decision was made and he wasted no time as he swiftly captured her lips with his. He tightened his hold on her causing her to gasp in surprise and Chakotay ever the tactician took advantage. He slipped his tongue past swollen lips, greedily plundering her depths, putting everything into the kiss that he had not been able to put into words.

"Kathryn"


	3. Chapter 3

Kathryn whimpered at the flood of emotions that began coursing through her. She grasped at him, needing to feel the full length of him against her. Kathryn shuddered and moaned, suckling at his lips greedily. She tangled her hand in his hair tugging at him. One taste of him and she became greedy, wanting to consume him. They finally came apart both gasping for air. She could feel his warm breath on her face, their faces so close they were breathing the same air. She saw him look at her lips and then her eyes asking for permission to kiss her again and in that small hesitation she remember that he was not hers. She was not prepared for the feelings of loss that came over her as she realized that she would have to live her life without him. Standing in the warmth of his arms, the heat of his body coming through her gown made her unable to hold back her tears any longer.

"I am so sorry Chakotay" she mumbled as she ran a hand through her hair taking a step away from him, trying to put a safe distance between them.

Chakotay's heart constricted when she looked at him so heartbroken and vulnerable, asking for his forgiveness. Her beautiful blue eyes swimming with tears. He saw her take deep breaths and wrap her arms around herself trying to calm herself. He wanted to take her back in his arms and sooth away the pain he had obviously caused.

"Kathryn" he said softly moving towards her.

"No" she stopped him "I am sorry, I should not have done that" she took a deep and fortified herself for the hardest thing she was ever going to do "Its really is selfish of me" she laughed without mirth "you and Seven are going to get married and what do I do, I force myself on you" she saw his eyes widen and she turned away to find the strength to continue. " I always thought it would be you and me" she paused "I always thought that I would have time" she turned to him and smiled.

It was the saddest most heart wrenching expression Chakotay had ever seen. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and tell her he loved her more than anything is his life. That he had only ever loved her. He wanted to explain to her that he had become desperate and looked for love elsewhere because he didn't think they would ever make it to earth. He wanted her to understand that he had felt like he had already lost her. That he was sorry for having given up.

"But I didn't, did I" she choked out no longer able to suppress the tears running down her face.

"Sweetheart" his own tears now falling, his heart breaking at the knowledge of how much he had hurt her. His words failing him he pulled her to him and tightly held her in his arms as he laid his head on her hair. He nuzzled her hair inhaling the sweet smell that was his Kathryn. _His, _the thought made him tighten his hold even more.

"Chakotay please" she begged even as she wrapped her arms tightly around his back, not wanting to loose his warmth "I know I deserve this." She mumbled into his chest. "You offered me your love and instead of accepting it I pushed you away" she loosened her grip, pushed against him, needing to be out of his arms to tell him what she needed to. She turned away, knowing she would not able to say what she had to if she had to look him in the eye "I love you so much Chakotay" She swallowed past the lump in her throat "I always thought that once we got back to earth we would be together" she kept her back to him looking out into the San Francisco skyline trying to hide her heartbreak from him.

"Sweetheart" he pleaded, he needed her to stop and listen. He needed to tell her that he had broken up with Seven. He needed her to know that even though they had been together more than six months there had been nothing between them but a couple of chaste kisses on the cheek. That even if Seven was a beautiful girl she really did nothing for him except inspire the need to protect her like any other Voyager crewmember. He wanted her to know that he had felt that she no longer needed him and so he had stayed away. Explain that the media had gotten wind of his and Seven's relationship and it had just snowballed from there. He needed her to know that, like some big dolt, he had done what everyone around him had asked him to do; and until last night when Seven had asked if they were going to procreate did he realized the depth of the mess he had gotten all three of them into. The only women he had ever loved, wanted to marry and have a child with was Kathryn Janeway. He needed her to know the depth of his stupidity. And that there was nothing in this world that he wanted more than to marry her.

He couldn't allow this to go on both of their hearts taking a beating by the words being spoken. "I dreamt of little boys with dark hair, beautiful, golden skin and gentle brown eyes." his felt his heart skip at the realization that they had both had the same dream. "I know I shouldn't be telling you this but I need you to understand why I have to go away" Chakotay was stunned, angry, desperate and most definitely afraid that he would not be able to convince her that he loved her.

"Kathryn" his voice low and dark.

"I shouldn't have pushed you aside like I did" she kept explaining her decisions as if he had not spoken.

"Kathryn" his voice rose in volume trying to stop her from talking

"I know you and Seven will be happy and no one deserves it more than you" she continued desolate, thinking of what his future with Seven as his wife would be. "This is my fault. I should have never pushed you away. But you have to understand I can not be around the two of you. I am not strong enough" she finished with a sob.

"Enough" he exploded. He was so frustrated by the way the faiths had conspired to keep them apart. He was so angry that he had caused her pain. He was angry by his stupidity and he was angry that they had been handed a lifetime of love and happiness and they had done everything in their power to destroy it instead of give themselves over to it. And here they were again about to let it out of their grasp. "You are not going anywhere." he shouted. Afraid that he would lose her all over again.

"Look at me" She looked up at him shocked when she felt his arms wrap around her. "I have never wanted another." he pulled her tighter against him as she shook her head in denial. "Kathryn" he lowered his voice. "Sweetheart look at me" he begged. He needed her to understand that they were out of time and this was there last chance to get it right.

"I love you" he saw her take a shuddering breath but still she refused to look at him. He dropped his hands from her waist and grabbed her small hands. He gently pulled her towards him, she still refused to look at him. He lifted her hand up to his mouth and kissed the inside of her wrist.

She finally looked up at him and spoke the one thought that kept her from dragging him to her bedroom and refusing to leave for the foreseeable future.

"Seven"


	4. Chapter 4

Seven paced around the room, her wedding gown discarded on the floor in a heap.

"Annie please sit down." her aunt Eileen said impatiently. She had been watching the young women pace back and forth for the last two hours. She would pause as if finally coming to a realization only to shake her head in a dismissive gesture and continue her pacing.

"You don't understand" she said agitated at the truths that, after months of refusing to acknowledge, were slapping her in the face. Seven had always been logical and objective. And now after all these months she realized just how foolish she had been.

"Annie, I know you can't see it right now, and I know you are hurting but..." Seven turned to her aunt her eyes cold and arrogant.

"I don't care about that, I mean I care for Chakotay and he would have been as adequate partner" she paused at he aunt's expression. "He was there for me when I felt lonely, scared and out of control and for that I am truly grateful." Seven was feeling emotions that she rarely experienced but she knew from studying the crewmembers of Voyager that what she was feeling was a combination of fear, shame, embarrassment and sadness.

"I knew" she looked at he aunt, knowing she would not able to continue if her aunt decided to judge her harshly. She swallowed a couple of times to try and dislodge the lump preventing her from continuing. "I knew that she loved him and I knew that he would always love her" she ran a hand through her hair. "You need to know, so that you can understand why I did this" she paused until her aunt nodded in the affirmative "When I was on Voyager I was unable to feel emotions as freely as I am now able to." she paused looking at her aunt to make sure she was following. When her aunt nodded in encouragement Seven continued.

"The doctor was able to remove the cortical stimulator that suppressed my emotions. It took a while to understand all the emotions I was feeling. All I could feel in the beginning was the fear that consumed me. The only person, besides the Captain, that was willing to take me under their wing and protect me was the Commander." She stole a quick glance and saw no judgment on her aunt's face. "The Captain was so busy the last couple weeks we were in the Delta Quadrant, and when we landed she barely had time for a quick meal before she was called into another meeting." she shrugged " So I began to depend more and more on the Commander and when the media got wind of our relationship it just suddenly spiraled out of control. We were being asked to show emotions that neither of wanted or felt. We let everyone else make the decisions for us. I don't think the Commander was actually processing what was happening until last night when I asked him if we would procreate."

She shivered at the memories of what the last few months had been like. "The crew began to shun us and rarely made an attempt to approach us." She got up once again pacing as she once again went on the defensive. "I mean I understand they were protecting the Captain siding with her against a perceived wrong. I knew the Captain and Commander had special feelings for each other that they were unable to express. I heard the whispers, innuendos, bets and jokes about the relationship between the Captain and the Commander. I was selfish and put myself and my needs before what she needed and what I knew to be right." she couldn't hold back the shame that had been consuming her since before Admiral Janeway came abroad. "I knew" she cried "I knew she loved him and I went after him anyway"

"Annie" Eileen was shocked and sadden by what her niece had done. But she could not judge her because she was unsure of whether her niece, at the time, had understood exactly what she had been doing

"By the time I realized what I had done. It was out of out control." She lifted her head wanting her aunt to understand just how messed up her relationship to Chaktoay had been. "We never even kissed"

Eileen was shocked by this pronouncement. Annika was a beautiful girl and the Commander was one of the most handsome men she had seen in a long time. "Never" she stuttered.

Seven looked at her and just shook her head. "He loved her all the time, even when he was with me, it was always about her. And you know what, I deserved it because I knew better." Seven hung her head in shame not wanting to see the expression on her aunt's face. "I knew he loved her and I wanted to feel that. But he couldn't betray her. Ever."

"Annie, this was never meant to be and putting a stop to this farce is the best thing that could have happened. He belongs to another and from what you have told me this does not come as a surprise. "

"They have been my family for the last 4 years. I betrayed not only the Captain but the crew. You should see the way they look at me. They hate me" she looked so much like a child that Eileen gave into the impulse to hug her.

"So tell me Annie what are you going to do to make this all better?" she asked with a authority. Eileen understood what the crew wanted. As any child would tell you, they just wanted mommy and daddy to be happy and if Annika was able to give them that no one would remember exactly why they were angry anymore.

"I don't know" she wailed.

"Yes you do. You need to go talk to the Voyager crew and tell them what happened" her aunt insisted.

" They won't listen" she insisted

"They will if you tell them what didn't happened between you and the Commander and what could possibly be happening between the Captain and the Commander right now"

"You think" she wiped the tears from her face and gave a tentative smile.

"I know" she smiled back at her niece. Seven pulled away from her aunt and headed toward the door. "Where are you going" Eileen shouted.

"I going to go talk to them" Seven yelled back running down the hall towards the elevator

"Talk to who?" Eileen was curious as to what her niece was planning.

"The Crew"


	5. Chapter 5

"I need you to listen to me." he pleaded. " Seven and I are not now or ever getting married to each other. I made a mistake in thinking that it was possible to move on from loving you" He reached out for her and lifted her face so that she was looking at him. "I love you," he said as her eyes teared up. "You and I are going to make an attempt at whatever this is between us and I can tell you without hesitation that once I convince you to give us a chance I am never going to let you go." his tone turned possessive.

Kathryn couldn't comprehend what was happening. Chakotay was standing in front of her telling her he loved her and that he wanted a life with her, when just a few hours from now he was suppose to be marrying Seven.

She felt a sea of emotions welling up inside of her. Sadness, that Seven had been hurt in this debacle. Worry, that Chakotay and her had been dreaming of this moment for years, what if once they became he realized that it wasn't her that he wanted. Happiness, at the chance to freely love and be loved by the wonderful man standing in front of her. Fear, over what the crew's reaction would be. But overall, Kathryn found herself feeling selfish. It had been so long since she had put herself first. She had almost lost Chakotay because of it and she was unwilling to do so again.

He was looking at her frozen, unable to breath. He was afraid that once again she would choose to deny them. That she would sacrifice them both to living a life of loneliness. Just as he was about to once again make his plea, he saw her quirk a small, teary smile at him and nod her acceptance and he was once again able to breath. Just like that Kathryn had made him the happiest man in the quadrant. He was momentarily frozen, but as was always with Kathryn once she made up her mind she took charge. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his lips down to hers.

The feel of her warm lips against him brought him out of his stupor. He wrapped his arms around her lifting her off the ground. He felt her smiling and he smiled back pulling away he was faced with a matching grin. "What are you smiling at" he asked before planting a small kiss on her lips.

"We are really going to do this?" she sounded so shy, she melted Chakotay's heart once more. His strong, confident Captain, unsure about a relationship that had been meant to be since the moment she was sent out to capture him. He ran his hands up and down her back reassuring her and he was once again reminded at how small and fragile Kathryn actually was compared to the Captain's persona she usually wore.

"Oh yes Kathryn" he paused and tighten his grip on her before setting her down on her own two legs. He needed her to understand that this was forever that they would not hide or apologize for what they felt. "I have loved you from the moment I met you. And we have been fighting our feelings for almost that long. We sacrificed our love for a wonderful, loving friendship that I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate. But this" he paused to kiss her "you and me, together is all I have ever desired and I won't ever let you go again." He pulled her tightly against him, and buried his face in her hair "We won't be sorry, ashamed or apologetic." he pushed her away gently so that he could look her in the eye "We gave them our whole lives while out there and I refuse to do it again" he paused letting her absorb the words and the expectation behind them.

Her eyes brimming with tears she attempted to speak but the lump in her throat made it impossible. She looked up at him, needing him to know that she was all in. Having had a taste of Chakotay, it would be impossible for her to go back to not having his arms around her, his lips on her, his warm voice whispering his love for her. Without words she lifted her hands and place them on either side of his face. She ran a finger over his tattoo, something she had always wanted to do and was now free to.

He closed his eyes at the sensation of her small hands on his face. Slowly she cupped the back of his head to bring his lips to hers. His hands glided gently up and down caressing her ribcage. He felt his heart pounding in his chest at the emotions that were quickly overwhelming him. She was so warm and pliant in his arms as her kissed her, a small gasp escape her as his tongue invaded her mouth. Her mouth was warm and sweet and he struggled to not hurt her as he tighten his hold on her. He felt his lungs struggling for air. He pulled away and moved on to her neck where he gently nipped at the soft skin that connected her neck and shoulder. Her sweet, soft skin enticed him and he felt himself needing to touch more of her. He made his way slowly across her collarbone and reached for the zipper on the back of her dress.

Kathryn found herself unable to think about anyone or anything except for the strong, gentle man that was kissing her into oblivion. Her confused mind was unable to process all of the emotions that his warm lips and gentle hands were creating. In the back of her mind she recognized the need for air but was loath to break away from the kiss. She groaned at the loss of his lips but moaned when he replaced them on her neck. His hands were slowly moving up and down her ribcage causing her to shudder. She tilted her head back as she tightened her hold on his hair. She needed to feel his warm skin against her. She pulled away from him and started pulling his shirt from his pants needing to feel his skin.

Chakotay pulled the zipper down and started pulling at the straps that were holding her dress up. The dress fell in heap at her feet. He felt torn at what to do, he wanted to continue kissing her but he needed to look at her. His need for to see her won out and he pulled away. She looked at him confused, arousal coloring her now steely blue eyes, "I needed to see you" he said shyly. He grabbed her hands and gently ran his lips over her knuckles. "You are so beautiful" his voice husky from the emotions he was feeling. He took in the green slip she was wearing and that it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. He wondered for a moment if maybe Kathryn would be willing to walk around their home in a slip for the rest of their lives. His grinned widen at the thought.

"What are smiling about" she asked shyly.

"I was just thinking of you an me together, forever" he blushed at his admission.

"Marry me"


	6. Chapter 6

"B'lanna, I'm not used being the adult in this relationship. So give me a break already. I know you don't like the fact that Seven and Chakotay are getting married, no one here does but we are all here because the Captain made it perfectly clear that she would be attending" he opened his mouth to continue but B'lanna interrupted.

"Ya that is another thing" she paused looking to see if anyone was listening "What is wrong with the Captain? We all know that she loves the big lug, yet she is going to sit here and allow this farce to happen." she started pacing "Well you know what Tom, we have stood around, for close to seven years now, allowing those two to pretend that they don't absolutely love and adore each other" She lifted her hands in frustration "Then we finally make it home and what happens" she exclaimed angrily "That blonde bimbo decides to make a play on Chakotay and the idiot decides that it is time to move on."

Tom looked around the hall and noticed that they were beginning to draw a crowd. Tom was not lying when he said that he was having a hard time not having a tantrum of his own and start yelling at the top of his lungs just how unfair this all really was. He loved the Captain like a sister and he had come to respect the Commander. He could tell that even though Chakotay was about to marry Seven, the Captain was the only one he truly loved. But he had given his word to the Captain that he would allow Chakotay to try and be happy with Seven without meddling. He knew that Chakotay would never be happy without the Captain, so was it really breaking a promise if he lead the crew in one last attempt at getting their commanding officers together. He felt bad that Seven would be hurt but he knew if he allowed this farce to happen then she would suffer more in the long run.

And what about the crew. Poor Harry was devastated, he reacted to the news like it was his parents who had gotten a divorce and now he had to make a choice as to whose house he would be going to on vacations or holidays. Little Naomi had refused to be the flower girl, and in fact had run away when Chakotay had asked her. The Doctor had gone on a long oration about the stupidity of man kind and how his Captain and Commander were at the top of the list. Tuvok had raised an eyebrow in a show of disapproval when he heard about the nuptials, which was the most emotion any of them had seen him display. The rest of the crew had looked to B'lanna and Tom, as the fourth most senior officers, to guide them. Tom knowing that their interference would only hurt the Captain had kept the crew on their leashes. Until now.

He looked around one more time and saw the sadness and hopelessness in the crews eyes and made his decision. They had not made it all the way to the Alpha Quadrant for it all to end up like this. He looked at his still fuming wife and knew what he had to do. Always the showman Tom stepped up to the podium where the bride and groom were going to be standing in a couple of minutes.

"Okay everyone gather around" Tom noticed immediately that the crew had perked up. They started making their way towards Tom knowing that something was up as this was the most animated he had been since the announcement of Seven and Chakotay's nuptials. The Voyager crew was all there along with some of their family members. The family members, not knowing about the personal relationships and goings about of their two most Commanding officers, looked confused. Their Voyager family member would take the time to whisper an explanation and steer them towards Tom. Tom had no idea what explanation was given but it got their attention. "Now as you all are aware, we have been trying to put on a brave face for the last three months." Many people nodded. "We have been walking around keeping our personal feelings, about what is about to happen, under wraps." he heard some grumbling "Out of respect for the Captain"

"Here, here" a few shouted from the back.

He turned around making sure to capture everyone's eye. He wanted to see if they were all with him. What he saw was conviction and he received reassurance that this was the right thing to do. "we have kept silent" he paused "But no more we" he extended his arms gesturing to all of them "know what the Captain and Commander mean to each other and we are not about to let them continuing to suffer because they are to stubborn to admit they love each other." There was immediately a thunderous cheer to follow the proclamation that the crew had been waiting for months.

A dry tone interrupted Tom's rousing speech " I would just like to point out that this is inappropriate, dangerous, and could potentially get us all killed" he paused and for years after Tom would try and get Tuvok to admit that he was a big softy under all the logic. "The Captain and Commander are two of the most stubborn people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing." he looked at the crew who was in utter shocked at what the serious Vulcan was saying "We will have to use all of this crews abilities to pull this off." he gestured back to Tom. "Proceed Mr. Paris"

"Here, Here" came the happy chorus from the crew.

B'lanna gave her husband the time to rally the troops now it was her turn to give them the assignments to put the plan in motion. "Okay everyone we have to move, get into groups of 10 and make sure you come up with ideas. Remember we have to get Seven to back off" she gave them all an evil grin "and we cannot kill her" she shrugged nonchalantly "at least not yet" the crew chuckled. No one really wanted Seven hurt they just wanted her out of the way. "Okay everyone"

Tom noticed first what his wife did not. knowing he needed to stop her before she gave away what they were about to do "B'lanna" he tapped her shoulder. She immediately whipped her head around "What" he jerked a finger towards the direction of the unwanted guest coming into the dining hall.

"Tom" she shrieked" What is that bloated Barbie doing here" Blanna groused when she saw Seven come into the reception hall where the ceremony was to be held.

All of a sudden as if in slow motion Tuvok saw Vorik come up behind the ex-borg silently. No one would have noticed what he was doing if they hadn't been paying close attention to the situation like Tuvok was. He had been head of security for many years after all. He thought he should intervene, but the years of being in charge of the Captain's safety was a habit that was hard to break.

No one in that reception room would ever be able to admit that, had they known what was about to happen, they would have put a stop to it so they were happy not to have to contemplate it to deeply.

Harry turned just as Seven started to go down in slow motion as Vorik put the Vulcan nerve pinch on her. She started to go down, and before she hit the floor Vorik was able to catch her. He looked up at the shocked faces of the crew "I thought the logical course of action was to remove our biggest obstacle" he tone was so even that it took a few seconds for everyone to react. The crew looked from one another, finally resting on Tom, B'lanna and Tuvok to gage their reaction. Tuvok of course just raised an eyebrow, Tom smiled and B'lanna gave a shrugged. "Okay everyone lets get to work".

"Okay everyone, first off we have to find our targets." Tom turned towards where Harry was still kneeling over Seven as the Doctor made sure she was out but okay. "Harry" he paused until Harry was looking at him.

"I'm on it" he said as he made his way toward the computer screen. He started pushing some buttons trying to locate their Commanding officers combadges. "Um guys" he turned towards the crew waiting for him "I think maybe we may not have to do anything after all"

Tom pushed his way towards the screen in front of Harry and took a look at what Harry was looking at. He looked at Harry to confirm before turning to share the good news with the crew.

"Break out the champagne everyone we may have something to celebrate"

**Story Notes: I know Seven backed off, but the fact that she interfered is enough to make me not want her at the crew's celebration when they found out Chakotay and Kathryn were together.**


	7. Chapter 7

"Wait Chakotay" Kathryn managed in between kisses that Chakotay was placing on her as he carried her into the bedroom, cradled gently in his strong arms. "We have to stop."

"What, why?" he stopped abruptly at her words. It would be hard to stop now, as he held her gently in his arms, but if she was not ready then he would wait. He had waited this long and he was willing to wait as long as it took.

Kathryn could sense the confusion, fear and finally acceptance at her words. Again, he would do as she requested even though, she knew at this point, it was taking all of his emotional control to do so. He gently set her on her feet and stepped away to give them both some distance. Before he could turn around and gather himself she grabbed onto his hands keeping him close to her.

"I want you so much right now Chaktoay, and I would like nothing more than to throw caution to the wind and just ignore who we are and what we are but that is not fair to our crew, our families or each other." She paused needing to regroup and make sure that he understood what she was saying. "I want our life together to start with no secrets, obstacles or shame. I don't want to hide." she stated. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him breathing in the spicy, manly smell that was uniquely Chakotay. She felt his arms wound themselves tightly around her. "I love you, I have loved you for so long, but you were suppose to be married to Seven in a couple of hours." she looked down for a second to gather herself "We have to go down there and face our crew." she pressed her lips against his neck kissing him softly. "I would rather tell the crew now and get their reaction all at once then one by one."

Chakotay knew she was right. And he wanted the crew to know that he accepted responsibility for the mess that had been his and Seven's relationship. At least this way, he reasoned, Kathryn would avoid any unwelcomed comments or questions from the crew. He also wanted them to know that though Kathryn was the catalyst for the breakup there really had never been anything to break up.

He kissed her forehead lightly needing to touch her before he brought up another tough subject they would have to tackle. "What about Starfleet." he was apprehensive on what she would decide on the subject. She had been Starfleet the moment she was born. It would be difficult for her to give the organization up, if they demanded it, when they realized that they were now in a relationship. "They have been pushing Seven and my relationship pretty hard in the news cycles. They are not going to be happy to have to announce to the Federation that there will be no marriage, instead Voyager's top Fleeter and Maquis will be getting married" he chuckled lightly to cover his fear that this would weigh too heavily on her to ignore.

"Like I told you before Chakotay," she responded with the same strong conviction Chakotay had heard every time she threaten to destroy an alien ship that was intent on destroying her crew. "I have given all that I am willing to give to Starfleet. We became a family in the Delta Quadrant and I" she paused and looked up at him "We owed them an explanation but that is all, I will not give you" she paused to amend "us up"

At her reassuring words and determination Chakotay could no longer help himself he bent down and captured her sweet, soft lips in a searing kiss. He could feel the warmth from her body through the silk slip she was wearing. Chakotay knew he was on thin ice and that he needed to pull away if they were going to leave this room anytime soon. He pulled away and turned away from her, looking for her gown. His back still turned he handed it to her without looking at her.

"Sweetheart, if we are going to do this you need to get dressed and we need to leave right now, otherwise, I will not be able to control myself. " He could hear her shuffling into her gown and he had to fist his hands to prevent himself from turning around and taking her into his arms. "Sweetheart" he gulped when she felt her small arms wrap around him from behind. She planted a small kiss between his shoulder blades making him hiss with arousal. "You don't play fair do you" he said huskily

"Nonsense" she replied and he could hear the smile in her voice. "I need your help if we are going to go face our crew" she pulled away from his body "Chakotay I need you to zip me up"

"Wh...wh..at" he stuttered

"I need you to zip me up" she replied amused by his reaction. Sexy, was all her mind kept repeating. She was better equipped at hiding her emotions than he was but it was taking all of her self control to keep her hands off of him. "I can't leave this room half-dressed" he groaned as he remember how she looked in her slip "the crew will guess what we have been up to before we even utter a word" she finished reaching for his hand and turning him around to face her.

He lifted a hand and softly caressed her cheek, amazed that from now on he would always be free to touch her. "I love you" he said so softly and tenderly it made her legs feel like putty. He bent down and kissed her on her cheek and moved towards her neck. He reached his hands around her back to where the zipper was and pulled it up slowly as he continued to nuzzle her neck. Once the dress was properly secured he pulled back and smiled triumphantly at her. "Ready" he said reaching for her hand, smiling smugly at her as she pouted at the loss of his lips.

"As ready as anyone can ever be, when faced with 150 crewmembers who you have to confess that after 7 years and many failed attempts, by them, to get their stubborn commanding officers together; said commanding officer have finally gotten their heads out of the sand and realized what has been in front of them since the beginning." she smiled as she said this but Chakotay could see that she worried about what the crew would think.

They were at the door and before he open it he looked into her eyes and tried to alleviate her fears. "Kathryn, the crew will be happy that we are going to be happy." he couldn't help but voice some of his fears and prepare her for some uncomfortable moments "I expect them to be upset over my relationship with Seven and I will have to go into some very embarrassing details about our relationship. But in the end, they care for us and I don't think they will hold it against us." he paused "And if they do"

"Then we say, hell to them." she saw she had surprised him and hurriedly explained. "I love our crew Chakotay but as I said before, never again will I give you up for anything or anyone ever again." she returned the serene smile that crossed his lips at her words and opened the door ready to confront the crew and their reactions to their new relationship.

"Let's go"


	8. Chapter 8

Tom was pretty happy, if he was honest with himself, this was probably one of the top moments of his life. After finding out that Chakotay was in the Captain's hotel room everyone had basically hunkered down and waited for what they assumed was going to be a long night of waiting.

Seven had finally woken up and told them that she was no longer marrying Chakotay; and while a few had been remorseful for what Vorik had done, those few were in the minority, as most felt she deserved it after what she had done to the Captain. She then theorized that Chakotay was probably proposing to the Captain right at that moment.

They had opened bottles of champagne and wine and started taking down the decorations for Chakotay and Seven's non-wedding. No one wanted to jinx the moment so they didn't talk about it. But you could see it in the expressions on the crews faces. They all agreed that this was it, the Captain and Commander were finally going to get their happily ever after.

Yup, Tom was pretty happy, he could blame it on the champagne but he knew like so many others that this was the welcome home that they had been waiting for since getting back to the Alpha Quadrant. The elation he was feeling was felt throughout the ball room. Now they would sit and wait.

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Chakatoy was both nervous and anxious at what Kathryn and him were about to encounter behind the closed doors of the ballroom. Their crews' reaction would weigh heavily on Kathryn even if she said she was not going to let it dictate her life it would hurt her. Chakotay knew her well enough to know that she would be hurt by their judgment and rejection. It would be just one more thing she would have to carry around feeling guilty about.

He turned to look at her and was once again mesmerized by how beautiful she was. He looked down at their joined hands and gave her a reassuring squeeze, which caused her to turn and look at him. She grace him with a luminous smile that she only ever shared with him.

"You ready for this" he asked her trying to gauge her anxiety level.

She nodded her head and stepped up to the door's sensor causing it to slid open.

The moment they stepped into the room they felt the air heavy with anticipation. He felt Kathryn unconsciously tighten her hold on him making his heart constrict with the love he felt for the strong, loving, gentle women at his side. He looked at the crew, keeping eye contact with some longer than others. Finally, his eyes landed on Tuvok who was standing at the head of the aisle with B'lanna and Tom to the side. He stared at Tuvok the longest knowing that if anyone was going to be able to talk Kathryn out of marrying him it would be Tuvok.

Kathryn was more nervous then she had ever been in her life. She was never a person who liked to display her emotions in front of people and in a moment she knew she was going to have to tell her crew how much she loved the man next to her. His hand felt strong and big holding her smaller one. Just having his strong presence next to her made her feel safe.

She looked up at Chakotay and then up the aisle where Tuvok was standing, staring at her. She knew that many thought that Vulcans had no emotions, because they were so good at keeping them under control. But she could see the emotions bubbling just under the surface of his calm demeanor. She wrapped her other hand around Chakotay's arm needing his strength as she faced her crew. She straighten her back and schooled her features to prepare for any reaction she might receive from the crew.

Chakotay could not sense any of the hostility he had been receiving from the crew recently but he put that down to the fact that Kathryn was at his side and Seven was no where to be seen. He hated the way Kathryn had tensed up the moment she walked into the room preparing herself for the crews reaction. He blamed himself for the stupidity of his actions, which had led to this moment. He heard a soft melody begin and he turned towards it and saw Harry Kim playing his clarinet, his smile in full display behind his clarinet. The soft melody was both lovely and haunting.

Kathryn being much shorter and unable to see over people's heads was confused when the music started playing in the background as the two of them made their way up to the front. She saw little Naomi standing by her parents as Sam tried to tie a white piece of ribbon to her hair. Her father was carrying a small basket of flowers that the little girl kept trying to reach for. She quirked a smile at the beautiful, happy family in front of her, even as the she wonder when Naomi had changed her mind and decided to be a flower girl for Seven and Chakotay's wedding. Even as she cringed at what she was about to do, the thought that soon enough her and Chakotay where going to have their own little family made her resolve to get this over with stronger.

They had made it halfway up the aisle when Naomi, Sam unable to contain her any longer, ran up to Kathryn and wrapped her arms around Kathryn's waist. "Captain, congratulations" the little girl's smile making Kathryn produced one of her own.

"Congratulations, for what, sweetie" she asked confused.

"For marrying Chakotay" the little girl chirped out innocently. She continued to chat about her duties as flower girl as Kathryn looked to see the crews attention riveted on her. She saw as Seven and the Doctor came into her line of sight, Seven smiled a small smile and nodded her head to indicate that she was okay.

"Captain" the little girl sensing the confusion from the Captain looked at Chakotay for support. "Commander, is it okay that I'm the flower girl" she asked nervous for the first time, thinking that maybe the Captain or Commander would not want her to be their flower girl.

When Chakotay saw the little girl pout he laughed. It helped release some of the tension that had been building in him since he and Kathryn had left her hotel room. He bent down to Naomi's eye level his arm wrapping around Kathryn's waist possessively. "Of course it's okay sweetheart" he let go of Kathryn long enough to hug the little girl to him. He had been sad when Naomi had stopped talking to him, when his relationship with Seven had gone public. And now the crew was letting them know that they didn't need an explanation or apologies, they accepted it for what it was and were supportive of the commanding officers' relationship. He felt Kathryn kneel next to him and also hug the little girl.

Naomi closed her eyes as she whispered "I love you Captain". She wrapped her little arms around Kathryn's neck and softly whispered "I am so happy you and the Commander are getting married" she pulled backed and gave her a kiss before turning away and digging into her basket.

As Kathryn and Chakotay straightening up the wedding march music started and everyone turned, at attention as the two senior officers made there way to the front. Tom reached down to help the Captain up, taking everyone by surprise, he hugged the Captain tightly. "Thank you" he whispered making Kathryn tear up. He pulled away and made a show of looking her up and down, leering a her "And you make a beautiful bride" he kissed her cheek softly "Congratulations on finally marrying the big guy. You both deserve to be happy."

B'lanna couldn't help herself she reached for Chakotay and hugged him to her "Congratulations for finally getting your head out of your" he squeezed her tightly causing her to laugh "I am so happy for you and the Captain" she paused trying to dislodge the lumped that had suddenly lodged itself in her throat "I can't wait to see all the little Chakotay's running around" she whispered as she pulled away tears in her eyes at finally seeing her friend on the brink on happiness with the women he loved.

Tuvok stepped down drawing everyone's attention "Captain, Commander it is time." he said solemnly. The couple looked at each and then their crew where they were greeted by smiles finally they turned back to Tuvok nodding that they were ready.

"We are gathered"


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue:

The transporter beam released Kathryn and Chakotay on a private beach that the crew had managed to procure for them, when they realized their commanding officers were going to get married. The moment the transporter beam released them she was immediately in his arms, leaning forward to gently place her lips on his. He obliged immediately and they kissed feverishly. He knew he needed to get them into the house quickly, breaking the kiss he bent down to put one arm under her knees and gently cradled her against his chest as he carried her into the house.

Kathryn was unable to think as he showered her with slow lingering kisses. She moaned, in protest, when he once again momentarily removed his lips from hers to ask for the lights to come on and locate the bedroom.

Kathryn was in a haze of want and need and before she knew it, she was standing by the edge of the big bed, as he stood over her leaning down to deepen the kiss. When his hands pulled down the zipper of her gown and pulled at the two straps keeping her dress up he was finally able to touched her bare skin. The touch of his warm hands on her bare back jolted her out of the lust induced haze she was in and she push against his chest, pushing him away. She saw the worried expression on his face and she grabbed his hands in her own to reassure him that she had not changed her mind.

She looked up at him and not knowing what to say she nuzzled against his warmth taking strength from him as she always did. She wanted them to enter their new life together without any of the hurt, guilt and recrimination the seven years she had denied their relationship had produced. She knew she needed to apologized, for what she had put them through, and she needed to do it before they went any further.

He withdrew from her but kept his eyes attached to hers. "What is sweetheart" he was concerned that maybe they were moving to fast for her. When he saw tears spring up in her beautiful blue eyes, he lifted his hands to frame her face, encouraging her to tell him what was wrong.

"I never thought" a lump in her throat stopped her from continuing. She took a couple of breaths before she was able to continue. " … after pushing you away for so long, that I would be given a second chance to love and be loved by one of the most wonderful men I have ever met …" her voice trailed of, pain evident in her eyes. "I am so sorry" she sobbed.

He reached for her, wrapping her up in a tight embrace. "Kathryn Janeway, I count myself as one of the luckiest men is this world that you have chosen to love me and married me." he smiled as she looked up at him, their eyes meeting, mouths a breath away as he held her firmly. "Our time wasn't right before, who knows what would have happened if we started a relationship while we were out in Delta Quadrant." he kissed her softly "I never want you to live in the past, only the future. Our future". Trailing one finger over her jaw line, he pulled her face to his and kissed her slowly. She melted into the kiss and pulled at him, needing him to be even closer. He groaned and in an instant, her small hands were under his jacket.

He pulled her toward him and slammed his mouth hard on hers. She moaned as his tongue rammed through her lips. Her arms moved around his neck and his hands were all over her. All she kept thinking was that they had waited far too long. She had wanted him for years, and she knew he felt the same way. His hands came to her waist and pulled her onto his lap with him. Kathryn began unbuttoning his shirt and he groaned as her hands clumsily moved over his skin. They were savoring the moment; they had longed for it – they deserved it. She pulled his shirt off and threw it over her shoulder. Her mouth attacked his neck and he let her take control. Needing to feel her soft, warm skin Chakotay stood her up so she could step out of her gown. And just like in the hotel room, he was once again mesmerized by the beauty in front of him and he wondered if her would ever get use to this beautiful women being his wife. As skin touched skin they both sighed in complete and utter bliss. Kathryn stopped thinking and let the love she felt for Chakotay engulf her completely.

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At some point, between the kissing and love making, exhaustion overtook them and they finally nodded off. Chakotay was lying on his back and Kathryn was on her side; he had his arms around her and she was snuggled against his chest. The house was quiet and the only sound heard were the crickets chirping outside, the only light in the room was from the moon reflecting off the beach. And in that peaceful moment between the two new lovers two little lives that, Kathryn and Chakotay had dreamed about for years, began to form inside of Kathryn. A little boy who would look just like his daddy and a little girl who would be the spitting image of her mommy. Chakotay, as if knowing the treasure now growing inside of Kathryn protectively wrapped her up against him. Both letting out a contented sigh now that they were forever joined and free to express their love to each other forever.

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**I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed my story. I really appreciated your comments and it help to know that people were liking it. I had some trouble wrapping this story up, so sorry for the delay. **


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